31

I searched long and hard for elusive happiness when in fact; all along all I needed was personal contentment for what I already have.

Thirty one years of a life uncharted. So many memories treasured while so much more… forgotten. Life is a mix bag of struggles and junction points of tranquility. I encountered struggles in finding my own personal strength as well as the meaning behind some uncontrollable circumstances. I met interesting people in interesting places and found loneliness is a visitor all too often unwanted. But in between breaths that span moments counted in minutes, hours, days or weeks, I ultimately reached moments of contentedness. A simple thing such as Monday afternoon without anything to do but sit still in a café is a reward that is so easily forsaken. Or take for example opening a door that reveals a dear loved one sleeping so peacefully after a long day under the sun.

It is within these moments that we must not allow to be stolen away by the restlessness brought upon by the incoming waves of the unknowable future.

Restlessness causes our thoughts to race before waking up. Too many concerns most oftentimes keep us awake after midnight. It makes dreaming all that much harder for worries have a habit of not singing any lullaby songs that contain words of wisdom.

Why do we worry so much?

Now I write as if it’s going anywhere that will lead to some profound answer. The truth is… I can’t concentrate for I am restless. Writing is my silent conversation with myself. My fingers move and they are caught by the keys of a keyboard indifferent to the pressures of life.

Strength lies in the hearts of those who have friends.

Of all the blessings that I am most grateful, it is the valuable time I have spent with people that shared my ups and downs. Looking back, it’s hard to see how I could have made it without everyone’s challenges, patience and forgiveness. No matter how much we try to avoid it, we are judged by our friends.

I hope my jury find me guilty of a friendship that is worthy of their most precious time.